WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
These tits shall not be calmed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
the raccoons are back...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
