remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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