Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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