I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i think my cat just said my name.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
