He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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