Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
