How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Are we still banned from the library?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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