please come you make the beer taste better
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
