And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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