the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
