i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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