Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one