I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
