I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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