I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need a beard to bite.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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