is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
