I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
