It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
