At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
