"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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