somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
