you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
