We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
