what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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