Porn is love you can see.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
