I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
