I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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