The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
