Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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