my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
