is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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