4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
