Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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