I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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