i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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