roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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