some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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