I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
