Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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