I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
