They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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