New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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