shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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