Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
