Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
