Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
