umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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