found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
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She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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