so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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