I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
