ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize