just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
