its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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