please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
