K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
