So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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