Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
