hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
