life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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