Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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