The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
